When I fled my troubled home, passionately immersing myself in college, career, and family, I thought I had escaped the dark shadows, the pain.Mid-life, forced to stop pretending, to stop running so hard,I sought professional help.“You must,”said the therapist, “walk over to that closet where all the shadows are hiding.You must throw open the door and look them all in the face, or they will haunt you forever.”In the dark recesses, I found a grieving child, one I had abandoned to those shadows.
What is your “end game” in life? For many people it is simply to love and be loved in safe, significant relationships. Others want to accomplish their dreams, travel, or create. This powerful poem will help you to find the key you need to access what you most desire in your life.
What the Decades Taught
If I want to find some deep sense of worth…
To feel fully alive, gladly human,
To connect at a heartfelt level, perhaps,
With the Unitive Force,
It will not be enough to work hard,
Even to sweaty exhaustion.
It won’t suffice to love others,
Even those determined to harm me.
The neatest little house on the block,
The best kept flower gardens,
Organic salads every day,
Well-mannered pets…too little.
Sacrifice won’t do.
Not even years of self-deprivation,
Not being nice to everyone, all the time.
Giving will leave me feeling empty still.
Movies and books by the hundreds, Even somber scholarship,
Won’t fill the void—
The pain-flooded well of longing.
No princes charming could be enough.
Not children or a dozen sweet grandchildren.
Not lifelong friends.
No one can do it for me!
Along the winding, rutted road,
The best of guides can only point the way;
For some baffling spiritual reason…
…I must begin, at last, to love myself.
The Greater Orlando Trauma Recovery Network (TRN) is available to help survivors heal from the traumatic incidents that have impacted our community. Our local TRN consists of highly-trained, licensed and professional trauma therapists who use EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy to help individuals process traumatic experiences.
Realizing that other community resources will be limited and may take considerable time to access, the local TRN offers free EMDR treatment to those directly involved in the tragedy as well as family and friends who are deeply affected.
Our clinicians are offering up to 5 hours of EMDR Therapy free of charge. TRN services can be accessed at any time from the present up to a year later, as symptoms may have a delayed onset. Referrals for additional services will be available if necessary, but many individuals will find symptoms will remit within the 5 hours allotted.
Anyone affected by recent tragedies in Orlando may access services by calling the TRN referral line at 321-233-6365 or by emailing www.GreaterOrlandoTRN@gmail.com. Or visit goemdrian.org. You may also contact me if you know of anyone who may need these services. It’s time for Orlando to start to heal and I am grateful for the therapist who are volunteering their time to help in this process.
